And Then I Felt
by babygurl0506
Summary: **COMPLETED!** NEWLY REFORMATTED. SMACKED. Stella and Mac have a heated debate. Set after Stella/Adam have their fling but before they have their "talk". Spoilers for everything up to 6x01. READ AND REVIEW. Rated for later chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: First SMACKED fic. I am stalled on my NCIS fics, just sort of lost interest in that whole thing from a bad experience…**

**But I am now totally in love with Stella and Mac. So here's a new offering and I hope it's not going to get crucified.**

**Disclaimer: Own nada.**

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**"You're a real piece of work you know that?"** Her soft voice echoes down the hallway as she replies to something someone has said and I can almost picture her rolling her eyes and giving them that signature half smile.

The reply goes by unheard as I head in that direction, anxious for the possibility that I may make it in time to see that grin on her face. My feet move as quickly as I'll allow to maintain some form of professionalism and I enter the room to find her with Adam; those green eyes sparkling at him as they smile and tease each other about something that I am not privy to. And then she did it, she reached up and cupped his cheek and kissed the other side of his cheek before pulling back and chuckling with him again. I silently back out of the room, knowing I've gone unnoticed and rightly so, she's moved on with her life and I am no longer that support that I once was.

I'm not sure how I got here. The moments after witnessing that are completely black but as I sit here, staring at the paperwork on my desk_, _at_ her_ name on the paperwork, I can't help but to feel every ounce of my being fight to keep myself in check. I can't be angry over this. I have no claim to her. I never did. The only thing I can claim, is the blame. I did this. I let things devolve to this. She needed me after Jess and I… I did what I do best. I put my well built walls up and shut her out. I ignored the calls. I denied the coffee trips. I turned away from our semi-regular dinners. I pushed her to the edge of my emotions and kept her out. I forced her hand to this; to him. Her laughter echoes out of the AV lab and my eyes lift on reflex, expecting to see her coming towards me with her coat to try to convince me to go home; but she's not. She's leaning her forehead to his shoulder, her own shoulder's shaking with laughter as he tries to explain whatever is causing the melodic lullaby to escape her throat. His eyes catch mine and he stops. He pauses and nudges her slightly, and in an instant those piercing green eyes have found mine. The bright smile that was there a few milliseconds ago dims but remains as I am granted a slight upturn of her lips and slight nod. She tilts her head as I return the nod and I can almost hear her ask if I'm ok. The most I can offer her is a smile and nod to the papers on my desk, before dropping my head and returning to staring at her name and trying to look busy._  
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**"I wouldn't quit my day job if I were you." **

My eyes lift again on reflex and, this time, she is at my door; arms crossed over her chest, body leaning against my door frame, and that trademark half smile on her lips. My spirits lift slightly seeing that look, seeing it directed at me once again. The confusion I'm feeling over her statement but be reflected on my face because a moment later she nods to the paperwork and takes a step toward me, **"You won't have a successful career as an actor. You can't pull off pretending to be busy, let alone Shakespeare."**

It's that moment that I realize that she might know me better than even Claire did. Stella can read me like a book. I've often privately speculated that she could read my mind if she wanted to. I smile and let a soft chuckle bubble from my throat as I lean back in my chair and tent my fingers while looking at her, **"Can I help you with something?" **

She glances at her watch and then lifts her eyes to mine, **"When's the last time you slept Mac?"**

Silence is golden. I heard that once, and no one has that game down like him. He could teach a college course on how to shut down and go silent and stupid in 1 second or less. I've learned to work past it. I've learned that no matter what I do or say, he will always do this to me. He will always pull this card. There has to be something wrong with me because I can't seem to help myself and before I know it I'm asking him to come back to my place for a VERY late dinner. This can end one of two ways. Both end in me lying in bed regretting this invitation. His gentle nod and tired smile agree and as we head to my office to get my jacket and purse I can't help but think that maybe, just _MAYBE_, there's some shot in hell that I won't regret this. He holds my coat for me to slide on and I swear I feel an electrical spark jolt through me as his fingers brush my neck. When his hand finds that spot on my lower back as he escorts me out to his car, I can't stop my mind from musing about how sometimes you need to make a mistake that's beyond horrible, in order to see the thing that's been right in front of you for so long.

The ride was relatively silent, other than discussion on at we felt like ordering in. I hate this. I hate this tension between us and more importantly I hate that he can't seem to disengage those damn walls he has up. It was hard enough to break through after Claire, and then slightly easier after he and Peyton ended, but we are back to the place we were when Claire died now. I don't think I can handle this. I don't think I can handle watching him bury himself into this case and not escape for a moment. I barely register what's going on as we take the elevator up and enter my apartment.

When the words fall from my lips, it almost sounds like someone else speaking them,** "I wish it had been me instead of Jess."**

His hand grips my wrist and I feel him turn me around, and then those eyes are on me. Those all-seeing, all-knowing eyes stare through me and unravel me as I lean into his chest and battle for control of my emotions.

**"Why would you say that Stel?"** My words are softened, muffled by the curls I'm speaking into but I know she can hear me.

My hands rest on her back and move in a soothing circles as she leans back and looks me dead in the face, **"Then I wouldn't have to see what this is doing to you."**

She pulls back and heads to her kitchen in a brisk clip and leaves me at her door, staring after her like a mute idiot. The momentary hesitation passes and I follow after her sensing another of our famous battles and knowing that accepting this invitation might've been one of the worst choices I could've made. I lean my hands down on her counter , pinning her between my arms and meet her eyes,** "What does that mean?" **

Her brows knit together as she glares at me, **"Give it up Taylor. You don't eat. You don't sleep. You've shut down on everybody, including me. I don't know what to do with you anymore Mac. I thought we'd gotten past this. Past this whole need to be the man in charge who feels nothing phase."**

She swallows and puts her hands on my chest, **"I miss who you were before this started to eat you alive. I miss the Mac that came to Greece to make sure I was ok." **I can't look at her as she speaks, instead opting to eye the spot on the wall, just beside her head. Her disgruntled scoff and a shove are clear indicators that she's picked up on my game and is less than pleased.

**"I thought you cared about me Mac, but that's clearly not the case. Not since you feel that I'm not worthy of your conversation."**

My original two thoughts come back to bite me square in the ass. I am going to go to bed tonight regretting this. My voice is raspy; torn apart from the increased volume and near screaming levels that I have just reached. The look on his face as he stares at me is all at once undeniably heartbreaking and terrifying at the same time. I don't know that emotion from him, I don't know how to cope with it, and I can't read what he's thinking.

When he speaks, it is a whisper.** "You not worthy? I'm the one who isn't worthy of YOUR conversation."**

For the second time in this conversation I feel my brows come together and my eyes narrow,** "What?"** He takes a step back from me and turns to leave before turning back and licking his lips.

He grips his fists at his side and shrugs, **"Well clearly you'd prefer to discuss things with Adam over me."** And then I felt my heart stop.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **THANK YOU to the FABULOUS people who reviewed the first chapter. I am pleased that you appreciated it and to those who were complimentary about my characterizations THANK YOU; I'm new to writing BOTH of these characters and to know I am keeping in character is wonderful.

**Disclaimers: **I own nothing… and therefore cannot afford a Beta. :(

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_Previously…._

_For the second time in this conversation I feel my brows come together and my eyes narrow, "What?" He takes a step back from me and turns to leave before turning back and licking his lips. He grips his fists at his side and shrugs, "Well clearly you'd prefer to discuss things with Adam over me." And then I felt my heart stop._

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**"What are you talking about Mac?" **

The words fall from her lips as she shrugs and tilts her head, studying me as if I were a piece of contradicting evidence in her precise theory. **"Adam? This is about Adam?"**

She raises her eyebrows slightly and leans her head forward, fishing for me to answer her. After a couple moments of silence pass between us with her staring expectantly at me and me only being able to stare back with no good answer to the question, she opens her hands at her sides and gestures that she's waiting. **"Sometime today, Mac."**

I swallow and open my mouth to speak, wanting to berate her and yell and scream and tell her how wrong it is, tell her how it is against protocol; but I can't. Lindsay and Danny are doing it; and more importantly, Peyton and I were guilty of breaking protocol as well. My lips close and the best I can offer is a nod as I scratch my cheek and shrug. 

**"Oh come on, Mac. Are you that…"** she closes her eyes and I see her scanning her mind for the perfect word, a trait that becomes more and more endearing as the years go on. Her eyes open and I see a flicker of intensity that was not present a few moments ago, **"Are you that threatened that you can't even speak to me?"**

Threatened. Of all the possible words that could describe this emotion, threatened would've been one of the last that I could've come up with; but she knows me. She can see through anything I throw at her and I know that she can sense that I am getting territorial over her. For years, she and I have had this unique dynamic that's always been a complicated mix of friendship, flirting, support, confidence and devotion. Her private life has been my territory for years and she knew that I was threatened by the thought of Adam taking that away from me. She studies me for a moment longer and sighs, **"Mac, I don't know what you want me to tell you. I don't know what you're expecting from me. Jess' death has been hard on all of us. This case has been hard on all of us. If you want to stay silent and strong and keep your emotions and needs at bay, that's your choice." **

She nods and takes a step towards me, her head turning slightly side to side with tendrils following the movements in soft bounces, **"But you need to remember that your team has lives outside of the lab that were compromised by this. You need to open your eyes and see what's going on around you; Lindsay and Danny struggling with a newborn and the new obstacle with Danny's chair…" **

She begins to slowly and steadily advance towards me and I feel the walls getting closer, **"Sheldon and how he's clearly working himself into the ground between work and volunteering, Flack and how he's doing the exact same damn thing you did when it was Claire, and me."**

She whispers the last word as she finishes her approach and stands in front of me. Our bodies can't be more than 6 inches apart and I can see every fleck of gold in those light green eyes.

He's silent again, actually if I want to be honest he's been silent for a while. Maybe that's good though, because he needs to hear this and if I have to be the one to tell him, then I will. I'm not quite sure why I put my hand on his cheek, but as his head tilts into my palm I suddenly feel the need to tell him everything that I'm feeling and everything that I've been holding in. 

**"I can't just shut myself off. I'm not you. I can't act as though this hasn't taken a toll on me. First Jess, then Danny, and now you…"** my thumb traces his cheekbone as the next words tumble unconsciously from my lips, **"I think you're the one that hurts most."**

His eyes narrow and before I can continue he presses his fingertips to my lips, **"I'm still here Stel. You know that. You've always known that. When have you needed an invitation to seek me out for anything?"**

His eyebrows raise as he teases me and I feel the corners of my mouth betray me as they curl upwards. His fingers leave my lips and I feel my body mourn the contact but am comforted as his hands find my waist.

**"Mac, I've never felt like you were so far away. We all feel like there's a distance there and, after awhile, I think we all just gave up."**

I lick my lips and gather my courage, **"Mac, I know you're going to come around and I know that no one can rush you through this, but the world is still spinning and life has gone on, whether you like it or not. We have all continued to live our lives and yes, for some of us changes and mistakes have been made, without you."**

I drop my eyes and feel his hands slide from my body. **"Adam."**

The name is murmured under his breath and I watch as he grips his pant leg for a moment and then takes a step back, his posterior impacting the fridge lightly, **"You… and Adam."**

My eyes lift to him and this time I'm the silent one, offering a weak nod and shrug as I confirm his thoughts,** "Once. It…"** I take a deep breath and know that I have to fess up to the deed here and now and accept whatever reaction Mac has, **"A week after Jess, I got a call from him. He was at a bar, feeling lonely, and quite frankly the offer was the best I'd had in quite awhile. We talked and…" **I laugh softly as I open my palms to Mac, **"Who knew we actually knew so little about him? After a few drinks, we went for a walk and one thing lead to another…"** His eyes slipped close as he leaned his head back against the fridge and mutterd something softly under his breath before he lifted his head and stared at me.

**"Mac, it was stupid and spontaneous. It definitely is not going to happen again."** She's speaking to me but I can't focus on the words, not as my mind plays images in slow motion of her and Adam alone in a room doing things that I'm sure he's dreamt of doing since he met her; things every man who knows her dreams of doing with and to her. Images flicker through my mind at wrap speed; thoughts of her wrapped around him, his name being murmured by her; thoughts of how he'd never be able to realize how lucky he was to get to have each second of that with her, and how jealous I was that I'd only ever get to have thoughts of the images and never a memory.

I grit my jaw and sigh as my mind begins to focus on the words she's expressing, **"I don't want our lab to become something off daytime television. Not every person in the lab has to be in love with someone else at the lab and I certainly don't plan on allowing Adam and I to ever become more than what we are now." **

My head tilts as I study her, **"And what are you two now?" **

Her head mirrors mine as she smiles, **"We're friends; friends who were there to comfort each other, even if the methodology was flawed."**

**"Flawed?" **

His lips curl slightly upward as a single eyebrow rises and I can't help but to purse my lips and cross my arms over my chest, **"It's not like we were the first people to ever find comfort in sex Mac." **

His eyes close as he groans and runs a hand over his face, **"You couldn't have done it with anyone other than Adam, Stella? He's half your age!" **

Before I can even react his face flushes and his eyes widen, and I can't help but laugh and roll my eyes, **"And who would you have found acceptable for me to call for that sort of comfort Taylor?" **

His eyes soften as he crosses his arms over his chest and shrugs nonchalantly, **"Me?"**

He gets that damn smug smile on his face and I can't help but to smirk and raise an eyebrow, **"I contemplated that but you were preoccupied with your evidence." **

If it's possible that grin gets smugger and I almost want to go over and smack it off the bastard's face, until he speaks, **"I'm not preoccupied now." **And then I felt the earth stop spinning.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Ok so since the request for reviews was um, an issue… let me explain. I'm not holding it HOSTAGE. In fact, I have the entire story written in one LARGE document and just strategically divide it up; BUT the request was issued because I would like to get some feedback. SOME is better than NONE. I apologize GREATLY if anyone got offended, but I do appreciate feedback and I have seen other authors request feedback in that way as well.

To the people who reviewed, THANK YOU and I hope you continue to enjoy this. I'm going to dedicate this chapter to one reviewer in particular who made my day. **Stardust585**, this is for you. Thank you for the understanding in your review and PM. It means a lot.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing… not even a BETA, although I give big kudos to **ASERENE** for the feedback on the paragraph adjustments made. Thanks a lot doll.

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_Previously:_

_He gets that damn smug smile on his face and I can't help but to smirk and raise an eyebrow, "I contemplated that but you were preoccupied with your evidence." If it's possible that grin gets smugger and I almost want to go over and smack it off the bastard's face, until he speaks, "I'm not preoccupied now." And then I felt the earth stop spinning.

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She's staring at me now, and quite frankly I don't know whether to be nervous or excited. Her tongue peeks out from between her full lips and trails over them before she takes a deep breath and nods. I can't remember the last time I felt my hands shake while a woman stared me down, but I'll readily admit to the fact that I'm shaking now. She tucks a tendril of hair behind her ear and moves closer to me, her body near enough that I can feel the heat radiating from her warm skin and smell the scent that will forever be unique to this woman. She leans her head in and my breath catches as my eyes close, expecting a pressure to be pressed against my mouth.

She surprises me though, as her breath dances across my temple and her words whisper into my ear, **"You wish Taylor."**

My eyes open as she pulls back with that playful grin and I smirk back at her as I catch her waist in my hands, **"More than you know Bonasera." **

My hands slide further around to her lower back as I give her a small but sharp tug and feel her body impact into mine. Her eyes are wide in shock and amusement and I can only imagine mine harboring that same excitement as I stare down at her and trace small, teasing circles along her lumbar, occasionally catching the skin that's peeking out from the hem of her shirt. Her lips open as she breaths out a soft gasp at feeling my hands trace her skin and I can't help but to smile at that reaction; at knowing that I was the one to elicit that from her. The silence drags on as her hands sneak up to my chest and rest there, not moving, just resting as she looks up at me looking down at her, completely unsure of what to do next.

I feel like a damn teenager again. Should I make the move? Shouldn't I make the move? Should I wait for him to pull his head out of his ass? Or should I do it for him? His fingers brush the skin of my lower back again and this time I feel myself shiver with some mixture of lust, anxiousness, and excitement. I rub my palms over his chest once, then twice and smile at him; hopeful that that will serve as assurance enough for him to make the next move because this impasse is getting ridiculous. After another minute of useless staring, I can't wait another moment and lean in to brush my lips over the corner of his before pressing a soft kiss to the same location and pulling back. All things considered this could either be great or it could be really awkward if he was only kidding about this. As my eyes connect with his though, I know I made the right move. He leans in as I'm leaning back in and…

_Bang._

I chuckle as I pull back slightly; rubbing my forehead with 3 fingers and watching him touch his. **"You know, I always said you were hard headed, but I wasn't expecting it to be literal." **

His mock glare and raised eyebrow are the silent response to my tease before he tilts my head down and leans in to brush his lips over my forehead; effectively kissing it to make it better. I smile up at him and trap his chin between my thumb and index finger, to hold his head in place as I lean up and press my lips to his solidly; feeling him respond immediately. His arms tighten around me minutely and I know that this is where I should've found comfort in the first place. I know that he's the one I should've sought out when I felt that necessary need. I breathe out against his lips as my world spins, leaving me with my back pressed into the cool metal of my fridge and his hands gripping my hips gently. His lips leave mine and ghost kisses over my cheeks, forehead and eyes, then down my neck as my arms slide around his torso and my back arches off the hard surface behind it.

I always thought she'd be beautiful this way, flushed with swollen lips and eyes shut, begging for more attention from me; but now as I look at her and watch her eyes open to reveal those green eyes, I realize that I completely underestimated her beauty. I have to swallow the nervousness I feel and in an instant, my lips are back on hers and my tongue is teasing her lower lip, hoping to gain access to the cavern of her mouth. As I'm granted admission and our tongue begin dueling I pull her body tighter to mine and let my other hand snake up her back, gliding over her spine and up to tangle into the mass of curls; letting my fingers grip and weigh the cascade of spirals as they've wanted to for years now. I give a gentle tug and feel the moan that escapes her throat at the action. I do it again as I pull back and rest my forehead to hers.

I never thought we'd make it here. I dreamed of this place, him and me crossing that line and throwing the rule book out the window, but I never actually thought it'd happen. Yet, here I am, pinned to my refrigerator by him, with his hands in my hair and mine wrapped securely around him. I know that this is dangerous territory for us. That solid foundation we've built as friends can be easily destroyed by this but a part of me needs to know if the possibility exists for more. I don't want to lose his friendship, but I have so much more I can gain from him as a man that I know I need to risk it. I slide my hands up and down over the solid, muscular back of my partner and I silently vow to not let this come between us, whether or not anything more develops, I will not let our partnership fail. I lean in and kiss him again, slowly and sweetly, needing assurance that he's right there with me on that, hoping that he understands how much he really means to me.

My voice is raspy as I speak to her while tracing the skin at her hip, **"Stella… I…" **

Her fingers silence me, a move I used on her earlier and she meets my eyes with hers, **"No. No more talking. We wasted enough time these last few years with that." **

Her lips begin to brush my neck as she speaks, **"The ball is in your court Mac. When you say stop, this stops." **

She presses a kiss to the spot just below my ear and I groan her name and whisper softly to her, **"Don't stop."**

I feel, rather than see, her grin and lean my head away as she continues her trail of gentle kisses down my neck again and to the hollow of my throat. Her fingers begin to make quick work of my dress shirt and her lips follow their path down my chest and abdomen. Nothing will ever be as hypnotic as the way her body moves, and no better example exists in my head as I watch her body slide down the refrigerator while feeling her lips on my skin. _Hypnotizing. Erotic. Arousing. Seductive. _ All words that I've secretly associated with her for years, are now suddenly being enacted upon in front of me and I can't stop the grin on my face as she moves back up the front of the appliance and leans into me, while dragging my shirt down my arms.

Her hand rests over my heart for a moment and I put mine over hers, answering the silent unasked question I see in her eyes with a delicate whisper, **"Yours."**

I press my lips to her, and in an instant everything that's been weighing on my mind is gone; and then I felt peace.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** WOW. Well it's evident you all enjoyed the last chapter and the majority of you liked the changed up format. THAT makes me VERY happy. As I said, it's all prewritten, just divided up. And I hope you all like this chapter. It is rated **M **for a reason. So all you little kiddies, stop here or forever hold your peace. It's a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG chapter, but I think you'll be happy at the end. One more and it's done.

**Dedicated to:** the first reviewer of the previous chapter **MARNIC**. Thank you for your kind words and thanks for making me smile. And, of course, Stardust for the best review of like all time. Also try and play I spy. You might be pleasantly surprised.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. Wish they were.

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_Previously:_

_Her hand rests over my heart for a moment and I put mine over hers, answering the silent unasked question I see in her eyes with a delicate whisper, __**"Yours."**_

_I press my lips to her, and in an instant everything that's been weighing on my mind is gone; and then I felt peace.

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"**Mine," **my lips echo his sentiment against his lips as my palm presses into his muscular chest, feeling his heartbeat under it.

He is mine, and for the first time in my life, I believe it. Others have told me that their heart belonged to me, but there's always been doubts that plagued me at their admittance of that, hence my no men rule; but Mac is different. As far back as I can remember, he has been the exception to all my stereotypes about men; okay, not all, but a good majority. As his lips move down my neck, murmuring my name, I know that this entire fiasco is some gift from some God up there, or planets aligned for me, or something, because nothing has ever felt so right; it's well overdue, no doubt there, but it's so god damn right that I can't figure out how we haven't ended up here before. How did we let so many years go by without realizing how perfect this could be? His hands guide my top up my abdomen, over my chest, then over my head and drop the material on the floor, before returning to the skin of my abdomen. His rough hands and calloused fingertips are gentle as they caress every inch of skin exposed to them and tenderly trace my rib cage before creeping a little higher and gliding over the lace covering my chest.

"**Beautiful,"** he mutters as he watches his hands move over me.

I've never seen his eyes this color before; never seen him this open before, and it's a side of him that I want to keep around. I love how uninhibited he is as he explores my skin, giving me lust induced goose-bumps and grinning as he sees the physical reaction my body is having to his actions. His eyes flit up to mine, as one hand slides into a cup and cradles a breast, massaging gently then teasing the pebbly bud between his thumb and forefinger. He grins as I whisper his name and drop my head back to the fridge's cool surface; my vision impaired by the black lashes at the end of my lids, but the visual in front of me is stunning none the less. Mac Taylor, in my kitchen, shirtless, and his body betraying his need for me. My hands reach forward, and I loop my index fingers in the belt loops on his work pants, giving him a small tug to feel his body flush against mine as I arch my hips towards him, assuring I need him just as much. **"Mac… God…"**

He smiles and leans his lips to my ear. **"So, I'm a God now?"**

He grins against my cheek as I let out a breathy chuckle and press my hips to his again, **"I'll let you know at the end of the night."**

It's his turn to chuckle now, and he pulls back, gliding the backs of his fingers down my cheek and studying me with those intense blue eyes glowing with something similar to stardust. **"Goddess…"**

I smile at him and lean up, pressing my lips to his as I speak softly against them, **"Your Goddess."**

There is nothing hotter than a woman telling you that they are yours; but when she said against my lips and I felt each movement of those full plump lips, I swear I had to lock my knees to keep from buckling. No one has ever made me putty in their hands; not Peyton, not even Claire. They were safe about sex and stuck with the clichés that all women think men need, no- WANT, to hear. Stella's different; she's the exception to every preconceived notion I've ever had about women. To be completely frank, I don't think I've ever been more grateful to hear that something, or someone, was mine. I pull back from her mouth and trace her chest once more before my hands glide to her back and pop the fastener on her bra, letting the flimsy piece of lace and satin fall from her slender figure, before my mouth takes the place of my hands; licking, sucking, tasting, teasing, and gently biting the soft mound and hardened rosy bud. She whimpers and I glance up, watching her capture her full lower lip in her pearly whites as her palms press into the fridge behind her; I love seeing her like this and hearing each sound she makes.

I switch sides and continue to worship her torso, giving her the attention she craves and knowing that no matter who she's had in her past, I want to be the one she has from here on out. I hold back my chuckle as her hands capture the sides of my head and give gentle shoves downward, trying desperately to guide me lower on her. My hands grip her wrists and pull her hands from my head as I move up her body. The soft whine she emits and the needy pout on her lips are nearly enough to make me go down to my knees and give her what she wants right here, but I won't. I've waited a long time to get her like this and I'll be damned if I'm going to do this anywhere other than a bed. Those green eyes beg me to give her the release she's desiring and I know that I can't resist her, I don't think I'd ever want to. I lean in and speak against her temple, **"Bedroom…"**

Her eyes are a darkened emerald when I pull back and I follow her to her room. It's exactly how I've always pictured the intimate space; classically elegant and yet full of personality and culture, just like her. She heads into the room, leaving me at the door frame and gazes at me over her should with a mischievous grin. I watch the muscles in her shoulders and arms move for a moment and then grip the door frame tight as I watch her guide the tight black denim pants down her hips and over the curvy womanly ass, then letting them fall the rest of the way down her long tanned legs. My grip tightens on the wall as she bends over and eases them off her feet with her shoes, and I have to force my mind to think of anything other than how much I want to throw her down on the bed right now and make her scream my name. She climbs onto her bed and kneels there, crooking her finger at me, **"Maaaaaaaac…"**

I close my eyes and grit my jaw for a moment, fighting to get control. She looks so completely erotic there, kneeling on her bed, caressing her own chest and calling to me. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but somehow in all the mistakes I've made in my life, I must've done something to earn a gift like this. The fabric of my work pants tightens as she drags her fingertips down her chest and abdomen to the waistband of the black lace adorning her nether regions, and I can't stop myself from rubbing my open palm against the bulge for a few moments while her fingertips disappear into the black lace; that glorious Grecian goddess wants me, and I realize that I am the luckiest bastard on this entire planet. I send a silent thank you to heaven and take long, purposeful strides to the side of the bed, standing next to the mattress.

God help me, but I don't know how I'm going to survive this. The look in his eyes is full of intensity and power and I know that all the sexual tension and flirting that's been building for over a decade is about to finally come to fruition. His hand grasps my wrist and slides my hand from my panties, my fingertips glistening with my arousal. He brings them to his lips and drags the tip of his tongue along them, licking me clean before wrapping his free hand around my neck and pulling my mouth to his. Our teeth click at the impact and my arms weave tightly around him as he pulls my body to his roughly and holds me solidly against him. Electrical charges surge down my skin as our bare skins maintains contact, but there's still an issue that I need to deal with. I pull back as much as possible and grab his belt with my hands. My voice is raspy as I speak to him, **"You're overdressed Taylor…"**

His lips curl upward as he leans back to let me undo the belt and pants and give them a shove downward. I swear there is no better view than watching him bend over and shuck his pants, shoes and socks before returning to me in the tight black boxer briefs. His arousal is evident and my hand is eager to experience him. I push the cotton blend off his body and wrap my hand around his long thick member, moving in slow strokes while biting and sucking his shoulders and upper chest as his hands once again find refuge in my curls, **"Stella…"**

I can barely breathe, let alone speak as her hand moves over me time and time again and then it stops and just as I open my eyes to look at her, I feel a wet, warmth cover my manhood and feel her teeth drag over me. I'm convinced, I'm going to die, right here, right now. She moves over me with skilled precision and I have to force my mind to think about Sinclair or paperwork, whatever I can to not focus on the pleasant torture of her mouth and throat taking me deep as she can and then pulling back to the head of my member. After several moments, I cave, there's no way this can continue, or the fun will be over before we even get started. I guide her back slowly and lay her down, legs hanging over the edge of the bed as I kneel down and pull the lace off her legs, revealing the soft folds of her womanhood and the wetness that is there; her physical show of desire for me.

If I could make copies of him and sell them I'd be rich. What he's doing right now, the way his tongue is moving over my nether region and flicking that tiny bundle of nerves, I know women would pay good money for it. He's not only good with his hands he's fabulous with his mouth, and as his fingers tease then slide into me, I realize I didn't give him enough credit; he is FANTASTIC with his hands. My lips silently form his name and I hear myself gasp and whimper as he brings me closer and closer to the edge, **"Mac… Mac, please. I need…"**

Her hands are reaching for me and as my fingers plunge in and out of her warmth, her hot arousal coating them, I lick her slit once more and then kiss her lower abdomen, **"You need what Stella?"**

I look down at him, situated between my legs and caress his cheek with my fingers, **"You."**

His fingers slide from me and I feel my body ache for a replacement for them, and then I'm looking up at him and he's asking a silent question with his eyes.

She nods, and I can't help but kiss her; I offer another silent thank you to Heave for the birth control pill and pull back from her, guiding her to lie fully on her bed, staring at her body and letting her look for a moment before climbing onto the bed and guiding her legs open for me.

I hiss as he drags his member along my slit once, then twice, **"Mac. Don't tease… I can't… handle it. Please…"**

She's begging. I've brought Stella Bonasera to begging for me; I must be a God if I'm capable of such a feat. I lean my body over hers and slowly press into her, groaning her name against her temple and grunting softly as her nails bite the skin of my lower back. I'm not going to complain though, I will proudly wear the marks of this encounter, of ANY encounter with her. **"God Stel…" **

He is everything I've wanted him to be, and yet so much more; his movements are slow, calculated at first, the gentle sign that he's letting my body adjust to him. Again, I praise God for letting the planets finally align and wrap my legs around his waist, letting him glide into me deeper and whisper softly but demandingly, **"Harder… Faster…"**

"**I don't… I don't want to hurt you."** His eyes are looking down into mine and I can see the final straw of control that he's holding onto.

I hold his eyes as I caress his cheek and speak breathily to him, **"I trust you,"** and then the final straw snaps and he grants my request, his body moving on mine hard and fast and his soft grunts mixing with my quiet cries and moans. He pants my name softly and I feel the sweat on his forehead splash onto my skin as he takes me every which way he can, giving me the opportunity to appreciate him from every angle. I am the luckiest woman on the face of the earth. I whisper his name as he lays me back on my back and lies over me for the home stretch, **"I want to look into your eyes."**

I never expected this, her and me, here like this but once the opportunity was extended, I couldn't say no. I want to make sure that she remembers this, remembers me, and that no one can ever compete with me. I want to be the best, and judging by the sounds she's made thus far and by the number of times I've made her say my name, I'm doing a damn good job. I'm close now though and I want those eyes to be locked onto mine as I take us over that final cliff together; I want to see her fall into oblivion as we find that release together. I know she's not far off and as she drags her nails down my back and whispers my name once again, and her internal muscles clench my member, I'm granted my wish. Her green eyes cloud over and I can almost see fireworks explode in her eyes as she whimpers my name, I follow almost immediately after, satisfied that I got to see that.

I can't move. Not that I'm in a rush, but I can't move. I can't feel my legs, my arms, nothing; the only thing I can feel is his weight on me and his breath on my chest as he calms down after our intense session. He lifts his head and tucks a tendril behind my ear, **"You're beautiful…"**

He leans up and kisses me once more before sliding out of me, then rolls onto his back, pulling me up to him and letting me rest my head on his shoulder as my body spoons his side, my fingers tracing his chest and dancing over the scars there, **"You're a God."**

He chuckles and kisses the sweaty mop of curls on my head muttering softly while his hand captures mine and our fingers entwine, and then I felt complete.

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**A/N 2: Reviews are God too. LOL**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So, I'm sorry it took so long to update. It's short. And lame. But I hope you enjoy!**

**Once again, I'd like to extend a thank you to STARDUST585, thanks for encouraging me doll.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nada.**

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She was right, she does snore; but as I gaze down at her, caramel colored curls fanned out around her head and lips slightly parted, it's almost as if life has a mute button and I can't hear it. Part of me wonders why I didn't get here sooner, and another doesn't care; all that matters in this moment is that she's mine. She's mine and no one, not even Adam Ross, can take that claim. I can't resist the urge to trace my fingertips over the structure in her face, those delicious cheekbones that could slice Cheddar because they're so defined and sharp, that strong Greek nose, those plush lips that have the power to make me speechless. I don't think I've ever seen such a beautiful creature in my life. I don't deserve her. I really don't. My eyes continue to worship her nude body, partially covered by the white sheet of the bed and I realize that I don't want anyone else to see her like this, ever again. I want this to be my reality, every evening and every morning. She needs to belong to me alone, and I'm sure that whatever it takes, I'll make it happen.

I'd never contemplated long term futures with any of the others. The only one who even came close was Peyton and that crashed and burned. Stella's different though, she could be my future and I'd never think that I was missing out on anything. My hand settles gently on her ribs allowing my thumb to tenderly stroke the side of her breast and I am rewarded with a soft contented sigh as her eyes open to reveal those gorgeous green orbs.

She smiles sleepily and yawns, stretching that long lean body and reaching up to rest her palm on my cheek, **"Mmmmm… morning."**

I grin and lean down to kiss her languidly, **"Good morning."**

Pulling back from the kiss, I can't stop from smiling, seeing her eyes shut and lips still pursed from our kiss. My thumb caresses her lips and her eyes open again to meet mine, **"You stayed."**

Her content smile is enough to make any man want to get on one knee, but knowing that I brought that smile to her face has me ready to ask her now. I nod and caress her neck, **"You love me Stell?"**

Call me crazy, but that's the LAST thing I expected him to ask. I nod with a knit brow and speak softly, **"Yes, Mac… I do…" **

The look on his face is so endearing and I know I won't ever understand how Peyton was able to walk away from him. Last night was everything I'd expected, and to be completely honest, a little BETTER than I'd expected. I never pegged Mac as sexually adventurous but he surprised me. And now this question has surprised me even more. I'm not 100% sure, but something in my gut is saying that Mac Taylor has turned a new leaf. His hands capture mine as we lie on our sides facing each other, and I'm completely blown away at how natural this feels; how simply effortless it seems to have him here naked in bed with me.

"**Stella, it's been a long time since I've felt this way. I can't… I can't remember the last time I felt so complete."**

He brings my hand to his lips and presses a gentle kiss to my knuckles as he whispers to me softly, **"I love you."**

I think I just died.

I never expected that. Ever. Let alone so soon. I swallow slightly and reach up, brushing the knuckles he just kissed along his jawline, **"Mac… you don't… I don't need to hear it."**

His nod silences me and he captures my hand in his once again, **"Yeah, you do."**

The silence that envelopes us is deafening as he leans forward and kisses my temple speaking softly into my ear, **"You're it Stell. I'm done looking."**

Her breath catches as I nuzzle just under her ear and continue, **"I'm not saying today, or tomorrow, or months from now… We have time… I just want you. I need you."**

I pull back enough to see her eyes glistening as she whispers back, **"You've always had me Taylor."**

I grin and kiss her softly before speaking against her lips, **"Not the way I've wanted."**

I press another kiss to his lips and pull back, **"What do you want?"**

His hand tucks a tendril of hair behind my ear as he grins, **"This."**

I grin and nod and then he adds, **"Til death do us part."**

And then I felt love.

***fin***


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